Posted on 3 Comments

Report Card Time!

Oh how I used to hold my breath at report card time.  Not that I had anything to worry about.  I was a solid A-B student, but there was this awful feeling. You know, I thought it would be good but you just never know.  Things happen.  Funny, the things I used to worry about.  Now that I am homeschooling my son, I wonder if we’ll do report cards.  Right now, we are pre-schooling.  Report cards at this stage just seem unnecessary.  Then again I do have to monitor his progress- ah, who knows?  Right now, posting our work on the wall seems to be enough reward.

We are half-way through the school year.  During our holiday break, I’ve reflected on what has worked and what hasn’t so far. Our Letter Of The Week Curriculum by Confessions of a Homeschooler has been terrific. Not that we get through all the activities, but it holds my son’s interest and it’s super easy to implement.  It’s so rewarding to watch him learn.  Homeschooling has been great for our relationship too.  At the end of the day, I feel like I have spent directed, intentional time with him-  not just in the same house together time.  The flexibility of homeschooling has been great.  We’ve had an extended holiday due to some family emergencies that arose right before Christmas.  We’ve done some of the lessons in bed- how great is that?!

I need to get more disciplined about sticking to our daily routine. Some aspects of this year have been about “working out the kinks.”  We belong to a Christian Homeschooling group and a MOPS group to squelch socialization concerns. All in all, I am so glad that I decided to pre-school at home.  I’ve learned so much and enjoyed visiting with the other HS Moms from the Hip Homeschool Hop. Cheers for a great semester: A+!

Posted on

Report Card Time!

Oh how I used to hold my breath at report card time.  Not that I had anything to worry about.  I was a solid A-B student, but there was this awful feeling. You know, I thought it would be good but you just never know.  Things happen.  Funny, the things I used to worry about.  Now that I am homeschooling my son, I wonder if we’ll do report cards.  Right now, we are pre-schooling.  Report cards at this stage just seem unnecessary.  Then again I do have to monitor his progress- ah, who knows?  Right now, posting our work on the wall seems to be enough reward.

We are half-way through the school year.  During our holiday break, I’ve reflected on what has worked and what hasn’t so far. Our Letter Of The Week Curriculum by Confessions of a Homeschooler has been terrific. Not that we get through all the activities, but it holds my son’s interest and it’s super easy to implement.  It’s so rewarding to watch him learn.  Homeschooling has been great for our relationship too.  At the end of the day, I feel like I have spent directed, intentional time with him-  not just in the same house together time.  The flexibility of homeschooling has been great.  We’ve had an extended holiday due to some family emergencies that arose right before Christmas.  We’ve done some of the lessons in bed- how great is that?!

I need to get more disciplined about sticking to our daily routine. Some aspects of this year have been about “working out the kinks.”  We belong to a Christian Homeschooling group and a MOPS group to squelch socialization concerns. All in all, I am so glad that I decided to pre-school at home.  I’ve learned so much and enjoyed visiting with the other HS Moms from the Hip Homeschool Hop. Cheers for a great semester: A+!

Posted on 3 Comments

How To Survive Loss During The Holiday Season

You were expecting something more festive, right? I know, jingle bells and all…but tragedies don’t wait for convenient dates on the calender. Grief and coping with loss can be even more difficult when everyone else is celebrating.  I write this post hoping to help if you or someone you know is experiencing a loss or crisis.  It can be so hard but you can survive.  I know because I did…and this is part of my story.

Last year between Christmas and New Year my unborn baby died. For several days our world stood still while we waited to see a heartbeat.  We had seen it just two weeks before- blinking like a Christmas tree light.  And then nothing, only silent stillness on a sonogram.  The last thing I remember before surgery was trying so hard not to sob and wondering what in the world had caused that sweet little light to quit blinking.  While everyone else was celebrating my husband and I were grieving.  For weeks after, we waited on negative test results to rule out a rare form of cancer. I want to share what I learned through the healing process. Maybe it can give you a little hope.  Or at least I want to let you know that you’re not alone.  Someone knows and cares that your heart is breaking.  I do and that’s why I’m offering what worked for me.  Use what you can and dismiss the rest.

  1. Allow yourself to grieve.  Forget the stiff upper chin.  You don’t get extra points for suffering in silence. It’s okay to show your hurt. Whether its death, divorce, or a pink slip: loss HURTS and pretending that it doesn’t helps no one. That being said, you can’t wallow in it forever either.  We had a private memorial service at Church one week after my surgery.  I let myself cry and mourn that week but had determined that once the service was over I WOULD BEGIN TO HEAL.  It’s important to allow yourself to move forward.
  2. Hit the autopilot button. I had a hard time dealing with people’s (mostly stupid) statements so I just went into robot mode and mechanically replied “thank you for your prayers” to whatever comment was offered.  I figure that most people don’t mean to be hurtful- they just truly don’t know what to say. Side note: if your loved one has a miscarriage DO NOT say things like “something was probably wrong with it anyway,” “at least you didn’t get to hold it,” or “did the doctor say what you did wrong?” Just say “I’m sorry for your loss.  I’ll be praying for you.” 
  3. Quit asking “why.”  Talk about it with a friend or a professional but don’t get stuck in the “why” stage. There may be a medical reason that can physically help you; however, there is no emotionally acceptable or comforting answer.  Bad things happen.  Very bad things happen and trying to make sense out of the senseless only tortures you and prolongs your pain.  I remember crying out to God.  I didn’t get a reason why but I did get reminded that He knew exactly how it felt to lose a child. 
  4. Resume your daily routines- whether you feel like it or not.  Staying engaged is essential to keep short term grief from turning into long term depression. Shower, eat, work, exercise.  Don’t give up on life just because you’re hurting.  Don’t give up on God, either- even if your faith is wavering.  Keep plugging along.  Keep moving forward.  Baby steps count! You’ll get a little bit stronger and better everyday. You will get better.
  5. Realize that you won’t ever get over it but you will move past it.  There is a difference. It is vitally important to remember that while the feelings of loss and sadness will remain, the intense pain will one day subside.  Don’t feel guilty for beginning to get better, for enjoying others, and life again, or for growing beyond the grief. Life never stands still.  Everything changes: the good, the bad- it all moves along. 

Every one’s process and time is unique.  Don’t push yourself too fast or too hard.  Don’t beat yourself up- for feeling bad or for feeling good.  Emotions vary- it’s normal.  If you think you are not getting better or if you ever think about harming yourself or others, PLEASE GET HELP.  Your pastor, doctor, or mental health care center can direct you to available resources.

Over the past two years my husband and I have experienced several losses. I still cry a little sometimes. I am still healing.  I’m still growing. You will too.

Posted on

How To Survive Loss During The Holiday Season

You were expecting something more festive, right? I know, jingle bells and all…but tragedies don’t wait for convenient dates on the calender. Grief and coping with loss can be even more difficult when everyone else is celebrating.  I write this post hoping to help if you or someone you know is experiencing a loss or crisis.  It can be so hard but you can survive.  I know because I did…and this is part of my story.

Last year between Christmas and New Year my unborn baby died. For several days our world stood still while we waited to see a heartbeat.  We had seen it just two weeks before- blinking like a Christmas tree light.  And then nothing, only silent stillness on a sonogram.  The last thing I remember before surgery was trying so hard not to sob and wondering what in the world had caused that sweet little light to quit blinking.  While everyone else was celebrating my husband and I were grieving.  For weeks after, we waited on negative test results to rule out a rare form of cancer. I want to share what I learned through the healing process. Maybe it can give you a little hope.  Or at least I want to let you know that you’re not alone.  Someone knows and cares that your heart is breaking.  I do and that’s why I’m offering what worked for me.  Use what you can and dismiss the rest.

  1. Allow yourself to grieve.  Forget the stiff upper chin.  You don’t get extra points for suffering in silence. It’s okay to show your hurt. Whether its death, divorce, or a pink slip: loss HURTS and pretending that it doesn’t helps no one. That being said, you can’t wallow in it forever either.  We had a private memorial service at Church one week after my surgery.  I let myself cry and mourn that week but had determined that once the service was over I WOULD BEGIN TO HEAL.  It’s important to allow yourself to move forward.
  2. Hit the autopilot button. I had a hard time dealing with people’s (mostly stupid) statements so I just went into robot mode and mechanically replied “thank you for your prayers” to whatever comment was offered.  I figure that most people don’t mean to be hurtful- they just truly don’t know what to say. Side note: if your loved one has a miscarriage DO NOT say things like “something was probably wrong with it anyway,” “at least you didn’t get to hold it,” or “did the doctor say what you did wrong?” Just say “I’m sorry for your loss.  I’ll be praying for you.” 
  3. Quit asking “why.”  Talk about it with a friend or a professional but don’t get stuck in the “why” stage. There may be a medical reason that can physically help you; however, there is no emotionally acceptable or comforting answer.  Bad things happen.  Very bad things happen and trying to make sense out of the senseless only tortures you and prolongs your pain.  I remember crying out to God.  I didn’t get a reason why but I did get reminded that He knew exactly how it felt to lose a child. 
  4. Resume your daily routines- whether you feel like it or not.  Staying engaged is essential to keep short term grief from turning into long term depression. Shower, eat, work, exercise.  Don’t give up on life just because you’re hurting.  Don’t give up on God, either- even if your faith is wavering.  Keep plugging along.  Keep moving forward.  Baby steps count! You’ll get a little bit stronger and better everyday. You will get better.
  5. Realize that you won’t ever get over it but you will move past it.  There is a difference. It is vitally important to remember that while the feelings of loss and sadness will remain, the intense pain will one day subside.  Don’t feel guilty for beginning to get better, for enjoying others, and life again, or for growing beyond the grief. Life never stands still.  Everything changes: the good, the bad- it all moves along. 

Every one’s process and time is unique.  Don’t push yourself too fast or too hard.  Don’t beat yourself up- for feeling bad or for feeling good.  Emotions vary- it’s normal.  If you think you are not getting better or if you ever think about harming yourself or others, PLEASE GET HELP.  Your pastor, doctor, or mental health care center can direct you to available resources.

Over the past two years my husband and I have experienced several losses. I still cry a little sometimes. I am still healing.  I’m still growing. You will too.

Posted on 6 Comments

HomeSchool Preschool ROCKS!

Six weeks ago I officially joined the many who have decided (at least for now) to educate my son at home. Let me just say: IT IS AWESOME!  I admit, I didn’t feel that way at first.  I was excited and then (while doing endless internet research) it hit me.  Hit me hard.  I mean, this is one of the biggest decisions that will affect my little boy FOR LIFE.  I started to panic. Have you seen the ka-zillion choices out there? There are so many different education styles and ten times that in curriculum choices. I became overwhelmed.  Nauseated even. And then…

I found some lovely blogs that helped bring me back to “OK, I can do this” state.  More on them later (plus links). While I am in no way an expert, I did figure out a few things over the summer.  Here is a summary of my Crash Course for Home School Newbies:

  • Start with the legalities. Find out what the laws are in your state.  This will help guide you through your curriculum choices. You may not even want or need a curriculum. My state is one that has few requirements and gives parents great freedom.
  • Consider your own skills and limitations as well as your family’s.  Do you follow a tight schedule, a flexible routine, or do you fly by the seat of your pants?  Are you creative?  Do you need the guidance of a curriculum? How much guidance?  What is your budget? I chose mine based on flexibility and budget.
  • What support will you have? Is your spouse on board?  Will he be able to help – to what degree?  Is there a homeschooling group in your area? I joined a local Christian HS group to get ideas & guidance from veteran parents and for the field trip opportunities. 
  • Have a firm idea of why you want to pursue this. You will want it in neon flashing lights.  I’m not kidding- it starts with the curriculum choices, the HOURS of prep work, and ends with a lot of negative questions and comments from others. It’s fun, it’s rewarding, but it is HARD WORK.
  • Relax and keep it all in perspective.  Nothing is set it stone. You will explore and change styles, methods, and curriculum many times as you grow and your school days go by.  You’ll learn as you go. You may even change your mind all together about home education. Homeschooling is ALL ABOUT FLEXIBILITY and doing what is best for each stage of your family’s life.  
Don’t stress.  Trust God to guide you.  Trust yourself.  Have fun.
I want to give blog hugs to Sue, thehomeschoolchick and to Erica at confessionsofahomeschooler. These ladies gave me confidence, a place to start, and shared a sense of humor in the process. They have great links to other helpful sites. If you are homeschooling you probably already know them.  If you are still in the consideration stage, go check out their sites- you’ll be glad you did. Also, to find out your state’s laws visit http://www.hslda.org/laws/default.asp.  HAPPY HOMESCHOOLING!

For more great links check out the Hip Homeschool Blog Hop:

Photobucket

Posted on

HomeSchool Preschool ROCKS!

Six weeks ago I officially joined the many who have decided (at least for now) to educate my son at home. Let me just say: IT IS AWESOME!  I admit, I didn’t feel that way at first.  I was excited and then (while doing endless internet research) it hit me.  Hit me hard.  I mean, this is one of the biggest decisions that will affect my little boy FOR LIFE.  I started to panic. Have you seen the ka-zillion choices out there? There are so many different education styles and ten times that in curriculum choices. I became overwhelmed.  Nauseated even. And then…

I found some lovely blogs that helped bring me back to “OK, I can do this” state.  More on them later (plus links). While I am in no way an expert, I did figure out a few things over the summer.  Here is a summary of my Crash Course for Home School Newbies:

  • Start with the legalities. Find out what the laws are in your state.  This will help guide you through your curriculum choices. You may not even want or need a curriculum. My state is one that has few requirements and gives parents great freedom.
  • Consider your own skills and limitations as well as your family’s.  Do you follow a tight schedule, a flexible routine, or do you fly by the seat of your pants?  Are you creative?  Do you need the guidance of a curriculum? How much guidance?  What is your budget? I chose mine based on flexibility and budget.
  • What support will you have? Is your spouse on board?  Will he be able to help – to what degree?  Is there a homeschooling group in your area? I joined a local Christian HS group to get ideas & guidance from veteran parents and for the field trip opportunities. 
  • Have a firm idea of why you want to pursue this. You will want it in neon flashing lights.  I’m not kidding- it starts with the curriculum choices, the HOURS of prep work, and ends with a lot of negative questions and comments from others. It’s fun, it’s rewarding, but it is HARD WORK.
  • Relax and keep it all in perspective.  Nothing is set it stone. You will explore and change styles, methods, and curriculum many times as you grow and your school days go by.  You’ll learn as you go. You may even change your mind all together about home education. Homeschooling is ALL ABOUT FLEXIBILITY and doing what is best for each stage of your family’s life.  
Don’t stress.  Trust God to guide you.  Trust yourself.  Have fun.
I want to give blog hugs to Sue, thehomeschoolchick and to Erica at confessionsofahomeschooler. These ladies gave me confidence, a place to start, and shared a sense of humor in the process. They have great links to other helpful sites. If you are homeschooling you probably already know them.  If you are still in the consideration stage, go check out their sites- you’ll be glad you did. Also, to find out your state’s laws visit http://www.hslda.org/laws/default.asp.  HAPPY HOMESCHOOLING!

For more great links check out the Hip Homeschool Blog Hop:

Photobucket

Posted on 8 Comments

How I Abide in Him

I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.  (KJV) John 15:5


For so long I knew that verse to mean I am nothing without Jesus.  While that is true on a certain level, there is so much more.  Meditate on that verse. Dig deeper.  Ponder it awhile…

He supplies me.  If He lives in me and I remain in Him, I am fruitful.  I am productive. I am successful. It is Christ that gives me what I need to accomplish the life before me.  He works in me.  He works through me.  Have you ever wondered how?  Have you ever felt like it wasn’t working? Why?

It’s that word “abide.”  There’s the key.  I must abide in Him.  From experience let me tell you that you cannot abide in Him with just a weekly Church service and a nightie-nite prayer.  Abide means to dwell, live, remain, endure.  It’s a pretty weighty word.  Now it seems complicated- almost daunting.  Like any other relationship, it does take time.  There is just no way around it.  It doesn’t; however, have to be complicated.  Trying to set aside a particular block of time was not working for me.  I ended up overwhelmed, discouraged, and feeling guilty because it was a task I couldn’t accomplish.  That’s just it, though.  Jesus is not a task.  He is a person.  One who wants you to actually ENJOY time with Him. If spending time with our Lord has been difficult for you, don’t give up!  I de-mystified and simplified. Making small adjustments in my routine has made all the difference in the world for me.  Let me show you what I mean…

I do five very simple things every day to keep in touch with Jesus. These things don’t take much time at all when I spread them throughout my day.

  • Morning Devotion.  I use From Faith to Faith by Kenneth & Gloria Copeland.  You can purchase the book or view it for free online. They will even email it to you upon request. I have the link on my iPhone so I can view it anytime/ anywhere.
  • Daily Scripture Meditation. The Wonderful Names of Our Wonderful Lord is an excellent one minute devotion by Charles Hurburt and T.C. Horton.  While it is available in paperback, I use the mobile version on my iPhone. 
  • Scripture Confession.  I have compiled a notebook of scriptures that I recite out loud throughout the day.  I rotate them.  One day I’ll say the ones on health, then one day on parenting, one day on finances.  You get the idea.
  • I pray all day long.  Not the stop what you’re doing, formal kind of prayers- hardly!  I say the “Good Morning Lord!  Help me face the day” kind of prayer.  You know: like,”O Lord, show me how to handle this.”  “Son is jumping on my last nerve, what do You want me to do with him? “Thank you for putting the milk on sale!”  I talk to God all day long like I would to my husband, my friends, or anyone else.  I’m not disrespectful but I am familiar.
  • Evening Bible Time.  Yes, yes, you know me well… I have an iPhone app for that too!  (Face it: its just FUN that way!) I like the Robert Roberts plan.  Two- Four chapters a night takes all of 15 minutes.   
Of course, if you can do more that’s great.  If not, do what you can. Jesus knows and He understands. Keeping it simple, fun, and weaving it into my minute-by-minute daily routine has made it do-able for me.  My faith is no longer an ideal.  It is PRACTICAL.  It is real and IT WORKS.




Posted on

How I Abide in Him

I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.  (KJV) John 15:5


For so long I knew that verse to mean I am nothing without Jesus.  While that is true on a certain level, there is so much more.  Meditate on that verse. Dig deeper.  Ponder it awhile…

He supplies me.  If He lives in me and I remain in Him, I am fruitful.  I am productive. I am successful. It is Christ that gives me what I need to accomplish the life before me.  He works in me.  He works through me.  Have you ever wondered how?  Have you ever felt like it wasn’t working? Why?

It’s that word “abide.”  There’s the key.  I must abide in Him.  From experience let me tell you that you cannot abide in Him with just a weekly Church service and a nightie-nite prayer.  Abide means to dwell, live, remain, endure.  It’s a pretty weighty word.  Now it seems complicated- almost daunting.  Like any other relationship, it does take time.  There is just no way around it.  It doesn’t; however, have to be complicated.  Trying to set aside a particular block of time was not working for me.  I ended up overwhelmed, discouraged, and feeling guilty because it was a task I couldn’t accomplish.  That’s just it, though.  Jesus is not a task.  He is a person.  One who wants you to actually ENJOY time with Him. If spending time with our Lord has been difficult for you, don’t give up!  I de-mystified and simplified. Making small adjustments in my routine has made all the difference in the world for me.  Let me show you what I mean…

I do five very simple things every day to keep in touch with Jesus. These things don’t take much time at all when I spread them throughout my day.

  • Morning Devotion.  I use From Faith to Faith by Kenneth & Gloria Copeland.  You can purchase the book or view it for free online. They will even email it to you upon request. I have the link on my iPhone so I can view it anytime/ anywhere.
  • Daily Scripture Meditation. The Wonderful Names of Our Wonderful Lord is an excellent one minute devotion by Charles Hurburt and T.C. Horton.  While it is available in paperback, I use the mobile version on my iPhone. 
  • Scripture Confession.  I have compiled a notebook of scriptures that I recite out loud throughout the day.  I rotate them.  One day I’ll say the ones on health, then one day on parenting, one day on finances.  You get the idea.
  • I pray all day long.  Not the stop what you’re doing, formal kind of prayers- hardly!  I say the “Good Morning Lord!  Help me face the day” kind of prayer.  You know: like,”O Lord, show me how to handle this.”  “Son is jumping on my last nerve, what do You want me to do with him? “Thank you for putting the milk on sale!”  I talk to God all day long like I would to my husband, my friends, or anyone else.  I’m not disrespectful but I am familiar.
  • Evening Bible Time.  Yes, yes, you know me well… I have an iPhone app for that too!  (Face it: its just FUN that way!) I like the Robert Roberts plan.  Two- Four chapters a night takes all of 15 minutes.   
Of course, if you can do more that’s great.  If not, do what you can. Jesus knows and He understands. Keeping it simple, fun, and weaving it into my minute-by-minute daily routine has made it do-able for me.  My faith is no longer an ideal.  It is PRACTICAL.  It is real and IT WORKS.